there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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