i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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