great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize