I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
