How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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