He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
