Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
