we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
