By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize