Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
