She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
