My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
