wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
