Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
