You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
