Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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