oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
