I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
