Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
