i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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