the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
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