Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
