Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
