So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize