talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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