Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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