I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
