Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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