Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
