Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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