Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
