Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
