so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
