We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
