He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
