at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize
