when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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