Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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