She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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