I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
