it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
