did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
