Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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