Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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