How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
