This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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