What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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