oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
