Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize