And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
