what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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