If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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