That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize