she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
