Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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