its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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