just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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