I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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