Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
