i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
that's an acceptable place to lick
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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