why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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