I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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