It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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