Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize